What is Lift Surfing

Lift surfing was a sport originally created by Henry VIII in the year 5631B.C. The sport entails throwing hamsters from a 78cm block of wood. The sport has lasted up to this day and is still featured as an Olympic sport. Unlike yestarday, lift surfing can only be done by 67 year old men without any clothes on. Anyone else caught lift surfing is to be executed in the middle of Bexleyheath Shopping Center. Many of the lift surfers enjoy participating in public orgies that are usually done on Wednesdays at 8AM so the participants are refreshed and pumped as fuck for the rest of the day. In order for the sport to still exist, Henry VIII head has been preserved by the company Stannah who make very high quality lifts such as the Genk2 and the EcoDick. They are made from sustainable cardboard and use the all new and original Jewhurst buttons.


Lift SurfingHow to Lift Surf (Comprehensive Guide)Trailer